Multiplex Star by Luminex Corp (Parody)

I thought I had a blot come out right!
Gel was run, transfer done, antibody dyed.
So beautiful I start to cry...

Well you couldn't be that gel I adored.
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care, what my data’s for!
No, I’m not blotting anymore!

There’s no bands here for my PI!
No use for Coomasie dye!
What’s goin’ on?

Now my new gel’s torn!
Western blotting hate.
The struggle is real.
I’m old and I am shamed,
Knocked my gel box on the floor.
High background never changed.
Into bands so real.

PIs a flake and I can see my perfect membrane’s torn
Grant’s already late…
And my membrane’s torn!
Torn….

Multiplexin’ ladies!
Multiplexin’ ladies, now put your graphs up!
Go have some fun, the data’s run.
Got time for self-care thing.
You decided to blot and now you’re getting hot.
Another weekend you’re working.

While I’m swiping right, could stay out all night, this IRB’s cleared already!
No need for tears. The answer’s here. You can multiplex like me!

You just spiked it when you could have used a better kit!
Don’t be mad once you see the speed of it!
You just spiked it when you could have used a better kit!

My mentor just told me ELISA’S are bologna!
It ain’t the sharpest tool in the lab.

You were lookin’ kind of dumb with an edge effect half run In the shape of an L on the read out.

Well, my brain is numbing, but ELISA’s running.
Followed PI’s rule, high-qual data is comin’!
Doesn’t make sense you’re not having fun.
You’re workin’ hard, but you’re feelin’ dumb.

Science to do, papers to read.
“Method’s wrong” funder said on my pink sheets.
Your single plex data is slow - slow!
Your grant’s delayed, budget gettin’ low - low!

Hey now, multi-plex star,  run a plate then,  go play
Hey, now, you’re a graph star, get your grant out, get paid
And some equipment is gold. Only Luminex breaks the mold.